no 11

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Welcome. Have you accidentally looked into the sun or bright light, and then looked away, the image burned into your eyelids? That’s an afterimage.

In the last installment of Afterimage, I shared about positive triggers and self-indulgence masquerading as self-care. Here's what I saw, heard, and sensed that have stayed with me this past week. Let’s begin.

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Conversation: “Question of the day... or a lifetime”

The question: What’s holding you hostage today?

This question from Afterimage 9 prompted a reader to reach out about their stress, their inability to sleep, and the vicious cycle of the never-ending deadlines, a fatigued mind, and a pain-riddled body.

Reader, I’m sorry to hear how deeply tired you are on all fronts, and how much pain you're experiencing. Here's an edited excerpt of what I wrote you, in response:

Have you been released from this hold of stress since you wrote? You mentioned alarms sounding in your body. Alarms are carriers of an urgent warning. It may sound a bit unusual and even a little"woo-woo", but if you’re open to it, here’s something to try, in response:

1/ Locate the epicenter of the pain spasm in your body. Scan your body. Then scan the area again. Get narrower and narrower in your search for the locus of pain. This is not so much anatomical but a felt sense. Imagine scanning for it with your mind’s eye. Pinpoint the sensation in your body.

2/ Once you get to the epicenter, literally ask the sensation- in your case, the pain: “What message do you have for me?” Listen. Be patient. If you don’t talk to your body often, it may take a moment for it to respond. Just listen. There is no right or wrong answer. No judgment. Just listen. Notice what it tells you.

3/ Then ask it, “What guidance or suggestion do you have for me?” Listen.

4/ When you have your answer, thank your body out loud. Write down any messages you've received in a notebook. It might not make sense at the moment, but the body holds an incredible amount of information. A certain amount of stress and pressure can come when messages from our body are ignored (hence the section in the newsletter dedicated to this).

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​It’s a bit like what we see with kids. What happens when children feel unseen? When they’re very young, they throw a tantrum: loud, thrashing, uncontrolled. It helps them be seen. Older kids may go the other way: shut down, clam up, turn away, refuse to cooperate. Their reticence is a scream meant for adults to feel the void of their absence. The body is the same: it fights for your attention when it's ignored. It reacts when you try to shut it up, ignoring the cause. The body reacts under duress. It responds with space. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Listen to your body. The body never lies.

The newfound clarity from rest or exercise is not what heals the pain. Rather, new outcomes are created from new perspectives, beliefs, actions, and habits emerging from the new awareness. It's how we engage with ourselves and others.

An important note: Pain or anything "off" warrants medical consultation. What I share here is neither therapy nor a replacement for medical consultation. See a specialist if you have any symptoms. You can bring observations from this new awareness with you into your visit with your care provider.

All too often, we become so tolerant of our pain that we ignore and even normalize the signs and alarms deserving our attention. There's only one of you. Don't wait.

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Understanding origins of Afterimage: The Body Never Lies

On Wednesday, I noticed a reel on Instagram, posted by a trauma therapist. It was a centering exercise. “What do you see?” My phone screen was suddenly an explosion of yellow flowers. “Notice the colors. Notice the textures of what you see. Take it in,” Her language sounded familiar to me, the language of meditation. She moved on, asking us to notice the sounds we hear around us. She explained how we can use our five senses to take us out of trauma triggers, shock, or anxiety, and center ourselves in the present moment. I put my phone down. A lightbulb moment.

Is this why I’m writing Afterimage?! To process what I still need to process?

I started this newsletter/digital postcard as an assignment for a writing course. The course has ended and my writing experiment is now in its eleventh week. When I first saw the assignment, I didn’t have a topic I was burning to write about. I decided to observe and write what I see. I hoped writing would clarify my thoughts. What I got was something else: a practice to ground myself, an opportunity to get still in the aftermath of a breakup, and confront patterns that keep in a headlock.

My body knew what it needed before the rest of me did. (Maybe you did, too.) My mind's been busy getting things done and being present for others. My body's been working hard to scan for any information to help me ground and focus: What’s made me feel safer in the past when trying new things? How can I seek ways to release and create space for new perceptions, new experiences, and new response?

My body happily draws from its memories of vipassana meditation, hatha yoga, energy healing, Traditional Chinese Medicine, the coaching process, NLP, nature walks, bathing in onsen waters along the river, vocalization, singing, movement, and writing to create the practice of Afterimage. It continually invites all of me to land gently into the present moment. The body tends to find ways toward healing and equilibrium. Don't fight this tendency. Allow yourself to be supported by it.

Here’s Martha Graham. The great American choreographer and the mother of contemporary dance. Martha, thanks for giving us language to express human emotion through movement, and for your words of wisdom: The body says what the words cannot. And. The body never lies.

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A Question for You: What is the message from your body you minimize or ignore? What will you do differently this week?

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Your thoughts fuel mine.

Tell me what you're thinking about. Dreaming about. And what exactly you're doing about the thing you've been dreaming about.

Capture some images. Savor afterimages.

Have a great weekend.

Akiko

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Thanks for reading!

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