no 44

Have you accidentally looked into the sun or bright light and then looked away, and the image burned into your eyelids? That’s an afterimage.

Maybe it's the energy of spring; I'm energized. I've been in an experiment to help my body help itself. I'm on a six-day streak of 7 hours of sleep. I'm consuming in clean ways: I'm avoiding eating, reading, scrolling, and spending time in ways that weigh on me.

Here's what I saw, heard, or sensed that’s stayed with me the past week. Let’s begin.

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Felt in My Body: A Surge

Did you know that gratitude isn’t only something you can notice, cultivate, and feel, but it's an active source of energy?

Let me explain.

:::

In January, a friend shared her gratitude practice with me. It was similar to mine in some ways but different. For the last seven years, mine has been to reflect and write about three things I'm grateful for and three things I appreciate about myself.

Hers was:

• 12 Things I’m grateful for
• 3 Things I did well today
• 3 Actions

Actions! I liked it. I decided to try it. "What kind of actions would emerge from gratitude?" I wondered.

Ten weeks in, I noticed hope surged through my body. Was it ending gratitude with actions or priming myself for action with gratitude? In either case, I'm energized.

The 3 Actions felt markedly different from those past to-do lists: those to-do lists used to haunt me. 3 Actions ground me into my power. And reconnecting to my power is something I'm grateful for.

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Afterthought​
At first glance, my to-dos and the 3 Actions seem similar, but there’s a big key difference.

The old to-dos are born from a place of "should." The to-dos were vehicles and mechanisms for me to be acknowledged and validated-- by others. They were a host of things that mattered to everyone but me. In the to-dos, I had no agency.

In Japanese, the feeling when we're in the to-do space is called やらされ感 yarasare-kan: the feeling that comes from— pardon the French- the shit they make me do.

They, in this case, could be your boss, the organization, your kids, your in-laws, your partner, or society. They could also be you. It’s that part of you when you’re blindly compliant to the demands of others at the cost of your own needs. Or the part of you that decides to believe in and live out your limiting beliefs.

In contrast, the 3 Actions are fueled and emerge from gratitude and authenticity. They're important mile markers in my day: they’re the three high notes I want to hit if I'm going to give myself a fulfilling day. They help me align with me, my values, and help me get closer to my ideal vision of my future. Completing a task gives me deep satisfaction and something to be grateful for.

Noticing 3 Actions calls on your power to clarify your needs, prioritize them, and create pathways to realize your visions and dreams. I'm noticing I'm protecting my boundaries better and committing to how I want to show up in the world.

This ties into what we call やり甲斐 yarigai: things worth doing. 3 Actions are things worth doing, all things worth my energy.

:::

At the end of each day, ask yourself: What are

• 12 Things I’m grateful for
• 3 Things I did well today
• 3 Actions

The 3 Actions are acts of self-commitment, self-respect, and self-support. Try it without filters or self-censorship for a week or more, and see what comes up.

You may have a few weeks of "repeat" gratitude. As long as it's genuine, there's no wrong way of keeping this practice.

Tell me if you notice a difference: what happens when you move into action, fueled and generated by gratitude? When you've completed an important action, how does it link back to gratitude?

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